I was thinking about my kid the other day. I wondered if she would be like me in terms of personality or if she would be like my wife. At times I unintentionally have a harsh tongue. Sometime I says things in a way that is interrupted as offensive, mean, or even rude. The most frustrating part for me is that times I have the best intentions at heart. To me the opposite of love isn't hate, it's apathy. I am only saying something because I care. My wife on the other hand is a dove. She says everything with love, gumdrops, and everything else magical and sweet and syrupy. She smiles at everyone she meets and cries for all those who can't quite do it for themselves. She's great that way. My wife often helps me to connect with my true feelings because of her heart. Our out look is a direct result of our different up bringing. While her life was no stroll down Michigan Ave. She still was able to see the good in things, in people, in life. Let me also not paint my childhood as grim or bleak. I always had what I needed, I never truly wanted for much and got to do most of the standard childhood things. This even included one trip to Disney World. But, unlike my wife, I got to see more at a very young age some of the unfortunate daily realities people deal with. More of the underbelly if you will. As my neighbor would say, " I graduated from the school of hard knocks".
Being a proud papa, my first thoughts were that baby would take after me. She'll be able to look in a mans eyes and see what he's made of. She'll know if he'll keep his word or not. Then I though maybe she'll be like her mama. See the best in everyone, treat everyone with love and care. As I thought about it more and debated on which personality would be best for my kid. I realized that she'll need to be both. She'll have to know when to kill someone with kindness and when to tell a m@#therfu#ker to back the f#$k up. We are gonna have to teach her how to not be taken for a joke but to also show everyone the utmost respect. Balance. As a parent out job is to teach our children balance.
On a different note, I thought I would start ending every entry with something to be happy about. All day, everyday it seems like we're beat up with negative news. So to anyone who reads it I hope I can leave us both with something to be grateful for.
Thing # 1 to be happy about: Despite your situation, you still can do something you enjoy.